In Loving Memory of Ralph with me from November 23 2003 to August 7 2018

Foreword - I lost my dear sweet Ralph who was a long hair chihuahua and companion of 15 years. I feel an extreme void in my soul. I have not been able to rest since it happened on August 7th 2018 at 4:30 PM. My body is completely exhausted but every time I fall asleep I wake up with my heart racing and my chest and head pounding with any kind of thoughts of Ralph. Disbelief that he is gone. Did he know how much I loved him? Will I really see him again in heaven? Did I spend enough time with him (now that I have children)? Did I let him be in pain too long because I wanted more time with him? I have found a wonderful group on facebook called "The Rainbow Bridge Pet Loss and Grief Support" group and I highly recommend joining if you need to let out your sorrow to other people who are going through the same thing.

This blog is now about helping me heal. My mother suggested that I write down memories and thoughts about Ralph so that I will never forget. Wish me luck on my journey to healing! I feel at this very moment that I'll never feel normal again but a tiny voice inside gives me hope that I will some day be okay.

Here is the facebook post I wrote soon after saying good bye to him. It is honest and raw but also censored because I knew there was no way that people who have never loved a dog would understand my pain. So here was my simple reflection on the life we lived together (but inside my head is a much longer version that I will attempt to capture for myself) Along with this post I included the very first photo I took of him, a photo that captured his and my connection we had pure love and understanding like nothing I've ever experience and finally a photo that captured his essence and spirit when he was at his prime.

My sweetest little young master Ralph. I remember meeting you as Spirit at Helen Woodward Animal Center. You were skeptical and not making eye contact but when I came back after signing adoption papers you immediately jumped into my arms. That first night I brought you back home back in November 2003 we looked at each other and didn’t know what to do next. I never had a pup before and you never had a person before so there our adventure began. Thank you for the 15 years you’ve blessed my life. There are just too many things to list that I’ll miss about you. You were the best dog a girl could ask for and I will always have a place in my heart where you live. See you again some day but for now you’ll be at rainbow bridge